Words of your mouth - Whom does it edify?

There is not one day that passes by us where we haven't been a recipient of our own words or words from people around us.The word of God says " Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.(Ephesians 4:29)"

What is an unwholesome talk?

Many automatically think of vulgar or crass language.  That I must say is fit but over the days of learning I have understood that "those" are only the most obvious.It also includes things like gossip, cruel words, anger words, slanderous words, lying and deceitful words, harsh and complaining words, self-pity words,words that demand constant attention to satisfy needs of self.

Why is such a talk not good?

First, it breaks down the unity of the body of Christ.
If you know someone to be a gossiper, are you excited to talk to them?  Do go to them and ask prayer for you when you have problems?  No, you avoid them like the plague!  
If when you went to church, all you heard was criticism and put-downs would you want to get going?  
If the people there were snippy and told lies about one another, would you then listen to those same people when they led a Bible study?  Of course not.
If you find someone who constantly needs words of affirmation and wonders if the good you want to do for them is for real because according to them they don't deserve it, would you feel like doing it for them or for someone who knows to just receive in love.

Second, it destroys our witness to the world.  Even when the world thinks we are completely nuts, the one thing that makes us attractive to them is our distinctiveness – the fact that we live differently than they do.  If lost people are used to a freely flowing stream of unwholesome talk from our mouths, how will they react when we then try to offer them the water of life? Unwholesome talk does not encourage the body of Christ.  It does not build up the church, or make it attractive in any way.  That is why Paul says we should not let it fall from our lips. 

We should not use unwhole words, but rather encourage one another with words that build up.

Thus, every time you go to speak, you have to do so with the intent of building up the other person.  

You see, it is not enough to simply clean up our act.  It is not enough to simply stop swearing, or stop gossiping, or stop lying.  No, that’s not sufficient.  As children of God, we are to be proactive with our words.  Like our time and money and talent, we see our speech as a gift from God and we seek to use it for his glory and the good of his people.

Paul says, it’s important to get this because God desires us – specifically, our words – to be a means of grace in the lives of others. Thus Paul says there is no place for idle words, vain words without purpose or intent.   Every word you use, every sentence you speak should have behind it the aim, the goal of building up another person.

Now notice, though, that God’s grace should come at the appropriate time.  Paul says, your words should be ‘good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.’   In other words, when you are seeking to build up another person, it is important to know what they need at the moment.  Our attempt at encouraging them with word must be appropriate to the occasion and appropriate to the person.

What do they need?  Do they need to be counseled?  To be exhorted? To be corrected? To be warned?  To be comforted?

And always remember "do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."

The Holy Spirit of God who dwells with his people is not some force, but is a divine person.  And he can be grieved – offended – by our sins.

Imagine living with someone who constantly irritates you by their words.  They speak crassly, use vulgarity.  But more than that, they attack your values.  They undermine your very existence and refuse to listen to you when you ask them to stop.   So, day after day, week after week, year after year, they have to endure this constant disrespect, constant lack of love for you.  That is something of what it means to grieve God’s Spirit.

Let us work at bring God’s grace to eachother’s lives, encouraging one another with words that build up.